22 Oct Starting to Get Anxious
Thank you so much for being a part of my prayer team as I get ready to depart for Sierra Leone on Wednesday morning. I truly experienced the power of prayer as my mother was in ICU this past January. We watched God literally save my mother’s life as He heard the prayers of so many friends like yourself. She is actually going home this Thursday. I knew I did want to make this journey without my friends praying for me.
I definitely started to feel nervous today. I wondered why do I feel so anxious. I’m not worried about my safety so that’s not it. I feel like packing is going well so I do feel ready to go. Then I realized what it was. It was fear. Fear of failure. Then I started thinking of all my insecurities. What was I thinking that I could actually make a difference in a few teenage girls lives that live on the street? I have no skills, degree, or experience in this area? What will people think of me if I come back and I say this is too big of a problem and that’s why people don’t want to deal with it. Then I started thinking of when I thought God placed this on my heart over two years ago. Did He really tell me to do this or was this another mid-life crisis like the time I came home with a motorcycle? Or did I have some bad Chinese food that night? Or is this something I’m doing to prove value to myself? And I thought about it again. God DID call you to this. And this is about being obedient and going out on faith. I felt Him say, “Do you trust me?” “Have I ever let you down?” Peace came over me knowing that is my job to go and be obedient. It’s God’s job to do whatever He wants to do. There is freedom knowing and trusting that it’s not about me and it’s all about Him. My desire for this trip is learn about the issues that are present for these girls and see if we can be used by God whom ever He desires for us to help. I trust God will lead us and open the doors He wants us to go through. My desire is for Him to be glorified and for me to be the light of Christ.
Would you pray tonight for the following things for me?
1. That God’s Will would be done on this trip. Whatever He wants to accomplish though me. Period.
2. That God will give me peace, courage and confidence.
3. That I will be able to finish everything at work and finish getting ready for trip.
4. That God is preparing the way for the people and organizations that will help us understand these issues.
Thank you again for being apart of this trip and I’m honored to be your friend!
“For we are the aroma of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing” 2 Cor 5:17
Mike Di Leo